- what you want when you want it

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  3. - What you want, when you want it

We're heading for Vegas. He's a car salesman, novelist and Mormon. I'm a student enjoying a rather exhibitionist moment during a fairly extraordinary Easter break. But how did I get here? What am I doing? And what will my mother think? Doubtless Mark Oaten asked himself the same questions when his private life suddenly became very public. Bewitched, bothered and bewildered in the face of intense media scrutiny, he admitted having sex with men that he'd found online.

The website? Oaten is far from alone. Gaydar has 3. The UK is by far its biggest market, with a total of almost one million members. Most are in big towns and cities, especially London, Manchester and Brighton. Quite a few live near you. Far from being dirty old men, most members are between 25 and At any time of the day or night, wherever you are in the world, these men are online arranging to get it on.

There are leather queens in LA, sugar daddies in Shanghai, and, at every point of the compass, married men seeking "discreet meets".

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Welcome to the world of Gaydar, where it's every man for himself. When Freud talked about "polymorphous perversity" he foresaw Gaydar. The site caters for any and every preference. You name it or even if you can't , it's there.

Meet, chat with and date like-minded guys now

Specialised chatrooms include chastity, chubbychasers, Eurovision, hypnosis, kilts and scallies. There is plenty to amuse and arouse and much to disgust, but absolutely nothing illegal. A powerful feature called GPS - Gaydar positioning system - allows gay men to find like-minded souls wherever they are in the world. If they're travelling, they can enter an itinerary so that they can meet locals and line up dates, trips or whatever. No more "is he, isn't he?

If they want to send more than just a few messages and look at more than a handful of profiles each day, they have to pay. Given all these features, it's easy to see why Gaydar claims to be the "ultimate gay personals website". And according to HitWise, the internet traffic analysts, it's true. In December , Gaydar accounted for more than half of all gay website visits. The real surprise is that Gaydar is much more popular than straight competitors such as Match.

Statistically, online, you are now more likely to hook up with a stranger than book a trip or buy a sofa. Gaydar is no longer just a website. It's a cultural phenomenon and a community. I have a Gaydar profile. As does almost every gay man I know. A profile is increasingly a vital component of being gay.

However you use it, you just have to have it. It's a badge of identity, an essential accessory, a passport to a big gay world. And where gay culture leads, straight culture follows. Registering a profile is easy and free.

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The profile needs to stand out - a subscriber must sell himself even if they're not one of the thousands of "escorts" with a more "commercial" profile. Gaydar is a heady combination of objectification, commodification and fantasy. Now give your details. These include: You can include hobbies. There's a Tardis-load of gay Dr Who fans. Dame Judi Dench is, it would seem, everyone's "favourite actress". Brokeback Mountain is currently everyone's "favourite movie".

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Men don't have to post a photograph, but an air of mystery will only get them so far. Putting up a picture of a celebrity and writing "Not me but looks like me" is a popular - but pilloried - option. - What you want, when you want it

What have you got to hide? Thrillingly, subscribers can see who has viewed their profile and what they think.

  • The growth of gay online dating | The Independent.
  • Gaydar (website).
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  • Gaydar (website) - Wikipedia.

A star means "nice". A flame means "hot". Nothing means they think nothing of you. Just as I check my bank balance online and my books sales on Amazon, I like to look and see who's looking at me. Mirror, mirror, on the web Once the preserve of geeks and freaks, it seems that online dating is now everyday and OK. But now there are sites like christiansingles and primesingles. Whoever you are, whatever you're into, there is a site out there for you. Others include vegansingles, bikerdate and lovehorse. But the people you see online now are more like the people you see in everyday life.

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Love is big business. Lust is bigger. Go figure. Sex is what's really getting us online in such record numbers. Users say that friendship is their main goal, not physical intimacy. The current advertising campaign for Match. In slightly tittersome language, it details the "common side-effects of being in love".

Frustratingly, it makes no mention of sex. The website itself is self-consciously nonsexual - it's all neutered pastel colours and love hearts. It's very girly.